Rubberflex

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O mnie: -- Who am I? -- I am a Pervert. And if your pulse quickens when you look at the picture below - whether in curiosity, or excitement, or fear, or lust - you're my type. I dream of being able to cum inside every single man and woman in the world. Preferably all at once. I’ve never met a woman I didn’t measure up for sex while greeting her. And from the time I was 23, I haven't met an attractive boy I haven't measured up for sex, either. -- What do I want? -- I want wild, lustful, in-person fetish sex. With real men, and real women. With that in mind, I want to get to know as many male and female perverts as possible. I want to get as intimate as I can with people who get horny at the thought of twisted sex. At the thought of skintight, slippery black. At smelly high-heeled boots. At the persistent caress of latex and soft leather on skin. I want to be in a darkened room with two dozen people who've been so horny for so long that they'll stop at nothing to satisfy themselves with a man in latex and leather. Who will lick and suck and fuck even if they're trembling with fear. For physical sex play, I want the hardest of the hardcore. I want the top 1% of the top 1%. But I also love newbies, and I'm a patient mentor. The important thing is that, like me, you're filled with lust and utterly shameless. If I like you, I'll flirt with you... to whatever and wherever that flirt takes us. Fair warning, though: I won't claim or pretend you're the only one. I don't do exclusivity. I don't do jealousy, either. No matter what claim you may think you've staked by finding me, you don't own me. The only way you can have me at all is not to try. I'm not a man for one sex maniac. I'm a man for all sex maniacs. ;) -- What do I do? -- * I love to fuck sex toys that aren't mine. Preferably with their owners watching. And then, I love to fuck their owners. * I keep a big box of condoms in my home office drawer. During business conference calls, I wear one so I can stroke myself to orgasm anytime I want. Usually with the video feed of the prettiest woman on the call on full-screen. * Occasionally, I steal shoes from attractive female and male acquaintances, breathing deeply from one while I cum inside the other. * Some nights in boarding school, a few of us would sneak into a classroom with a VCR player and watch anal porn while stroking ourselves in a group. I still dream of those days. And I wish I'd reached out and stroked some of my teenage cum buddies to orgasm. * Once, on a crowded bus, I managed to cum all over the back of the skirt of a woman I didn’t like, undetected. And I would have given anything to see her face when she took her skirt off, and realized it was sticky. * I love the taste of my own cum, and the creamy texture as it slides down my throat. * The scent of well-used shoes and boots turns me on so much that I can't think straight. * One of my ex-girlfriends would coo "Fuck me, daddy... I'm your daughter, fuck me so nice" whenever we had sex. I get hard when I imagine her father teaching her the tricks she used on me. * When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a Succubus. * I get horny when I think about fucking the Facehugger's eggs in Alien. * I daydream of introducing attractive boys, fresh out of high school, to long, sensual sessions of anal sex. And then teaching their 20-year-old sisters really nasty sex tricks. Preferably at the same time, in the same bed. * I want a twisted woman to give me her husband to use as my anal sex toy while she watches. * I want to make love to a sexy woman after she’s pumped her pussy so hard that her pussy lips are swollen outside her like a giant fleshlight. * I’ve been plotting to catch one of the neighbourhood’s teenage burglars breaking in while I’m head-to-toe in slippery black latex. I'd stun-gun him, hogtie him, ball-gag him and plastic-bag him. Then I'd bond him to me sexually by making him my sex slave for a few weeks. Ravishing him anally seventy or eighty times while restricting his air, using my cock to massage him to a prostate orgasm every time. And by the time he wakes up free of his sealed room, face-down and alone in the middle of nowhere, he'll have erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life. Knowing that no sex available to him from that day on could possibly compare to what he's just been through. * I want to tease a boy’s hard cock with my lips and tongue while I insert an inflatable butt plug into his ass, inflate it to seal it, then slowly fill him up with two or three litres of glycerine, swelling that sexy boy's stomach up to make him a pregnant woman. * I daydream of growing a second cock from my crotch, and a third one from the back of my throat, so I could fill a woman’s pussy, ass and mouth with cum all at once. -- I want to expose myself to you. -- I'm hungry for men and women to join me in one-on-one or one-on-many webcam fetish sex sessions. I DO NOT CHARGE MONEY for webcam sessions. If you want one, my only requirement is that I like you. :) I love exploring just how far you're willing to go with me in anonymous, remote sex. You can see me, I can see you, but neither of us actually know each other. Think about just how empowering that is. I get a kick out of the idea that the bland, mousy stranger I'm standing behind in the bank queue might just be the yummy rubber-clad hunk who virtually erupted all over me last night... or the sweet lingerie babe who tickled herself to a gushing orgasm because I told her to. If you'd like a one-on-one or one-on-many fetish session with me, send me a PM, or E-mail me at rubberflexing[at]gmail[dot]com. -- Hold on, though... there's a catch. -- Before contacting me or leaving a comment on my profile, take note: * If you don't have a profile pic; if you have no videos or galleries or writings of your own; if the extent of your conversation is to type 'hi'; if extreme, bizarre fetish sex isn't a specific turn-on for you; if you're newly bi- or gay-curious; or if all you want is a quick piece on the side; then we are not suited. Subscribe to my page, by all means. Send me a friend request. But save yourself grief, and don't contact me. * I don't respond sexually to visibly masculine men unless they're wearing rubber. But if you're a man wearing rubber from head to toe, I'll struggle to stop myself seducing you on the spot. * I rarely do D/s or BDSM. But when I do, I'm Dominant. I dislike tin-pot dictators. Do not try dominating me or addressing me in the tone of a wannabe Napoleon Bonaparte... unless you're a humiliation junkie. * Don't bother asking if I'll be your full-time Master or Dominant. You heard it here first: the answer is No. Don't think you'll change my mind by hammering, either. The only thing I dislike more than a tin-pot dictator is a pushy sub. If you want to kneel at my booted feet, you will ask. Politely, and with no small amount of trepidation. And if you get my permission, you have one chance to do it properly. -- The videos on the right aren't the only ones. -- I find xHamster's verkrampt performer registration requirements and creativity-killing community standards a pain in the ass. And I know I'm not the only one. As a result, content featuring other performers and/or that can be considered 'extreme' is hosted on my Motherless account. -- These are a few of my favourite things -- - Sexy crossdressers and transvestites. - Sexy TSs and TGs. - Really obvious drag queens and faggots. That kind of slutty, trashy, 'fuck me now' look turns me on so much that I quiver with lust. - Ultra-feminine fembois and traps in lingerie and heavy make-up. - Sexy twinks. - Men and women who wear rubber and latex. - Men and women who wear high-heeled boots. - Anonymous man-on-man sex with full latex coverage, gas masks, and breathing bags. - Giving anal sex. - Breath control and oxygen restriction. - Your amateur porn. The more lewd and bizarre, the better. - Producing my own porn. Nothing gets me hotter than the thought that around the world, cute twinks, twisted ladies, crossdressers, Kigurumi, latex sluts, fembois, shemales, boot fetishists and rubbermen are cumming while watching my videos. - Wearing rubber and latex myself – both heavy and sensual. - Wearing soft leather boots. Especially high-heeled, thigh-high boots. - Having my toes licked and sucked while I'm wearing womens' boots. - Rubber gloves and leather gloves. - PVC, vinyl, and leather bodywear - especially soft, supple leather. -- Thoughts on cum tributes -- I love them. Giving and receiving. If you'd like a cum tribute from me, be prepared to give one of your own. No output without input. After all, sharing is caring, yes? ;) -- Thoughts on feminine boys -- I live in the country that birthed one of the most horrible pseudo-religious monsters the world has ever seen: the Nederduitsche Gereformeerde Kerk. As a result, I've heard too many people declare that boys who try to be girls are worthless, or less than human, or deserve to be exterminated. I've also seen for myself that people who make those declarations have no self-knowledge or insight – or they're simply terrified by their secret realization that delicate, vulnerable or feminine boys turn them on. I can only imagine how many Dominees have faced a feminine-looking boy, desired him, suppressed that desire – and then blamed the boy for being an 'incitement to sin'. To me, on the other hand, a boy who's really a girl at heart is on about the same level as a goddess out of ancient Greek mythos. Actually, she's better, because she's not a figment of collective imagination. Rather, she's a flesh-and-blood creature to be loved and cherished in the here-and-now. She holds promise that transcends the polar opposites of Male and Female. She unites the entire spectrum of Masculine and Feminine in one body. Regarding religious thou-shalt-nots on the subject of gender-bending: let me point out that crossdressing and transvestitism are religious traditions that predate Christianity. Also, people who claim to be speaking or acting in the name of God are not generally renowned for their emotional or mental stability. As for the rest of the world's opinion: there are very good reasons why ladyboy porn is so well-established. The closest a girl can ever come to that ideal is to wear a strap-on. That will always miss the mark - because it's obviously fake. But a boy can have the seductive face, soft lips, long hair and beautiful breasts of a girl, and keep the narrow hips and luscious cock. Somehow, a girl who tries to be a boy always ends up less than the sum of her parts. But a boy who tries to be a girl stands an excellent chance of becoming more. I love boys who can become beautiful girls. It's as easy as that. To turn me on, a boy has to be a beautiful girl with a cock. Nothing more, nothing less. -- Thoughts on inter-gender relations -- I identify as Pansexual. A long time ago, I took the trouble to learn exactly what the word means. And I align with all its tenets. But tread carefully. Identifying as Pansexual puts me under no obligation to do political correctness or identity politics. And I call out bullshit with no fear or favour; no regard to race, colour or creed. As a proud pervert, I know that correctness is subjective at best. As a South African, I know that politics is a euphemism for violence. And as a man born in the 1970s who keeps a sharp eye out in the 2020s, I see history repeating itself: identity politics is violence wearing baby-doll-pink lipstick, green eyeshadow, dungarees and steel-toed work boots. Carrying an organic, vegan-leather Louis Vuitton handbag in one hand and a pick handle in the other. I am unashamedly a man, and my gender pronouns are He, Him and His. I'm cool with non-binary definitions - as long as their proponents don't use them as soapboxes or megaphones or weapons. -- Thoughts on my pansexuality -- Am I truly pansexual? If what you're really asking is "Will I fuck anything on two legs?" then No. What it means is, I love accepting pleasure from and giving pleasure to women, men, and every shade of gender in between. And that if you try imposing a purity test on me, you'll find yourself in an emergency room with a doctor wondering how he's going to get it out of your colon. Your exclusive homosexuality or heterosexuality - if that's what you have - is a role, not a merit badge. It doesn't make you enlightened or elevated or otherwise superior. -- Thoughts on vanilla sex -- I have no interest in reproductive sex. That is about plumbing and production quotas. I have no time for conventional, one-dimensional or straitjacketed definitions and modes of sexual behaviour, either. Sex and dogma are separate entities and should be kept as such, saith the Lord. I am about What's-Your-Pleasure. I am about sex with no boundaries that feels so good that we might both faint. With that in mind, all I'm interested in is Who, How, When, and Where. 'Why' bores me. If you have to intellectualize why you're here, doing what you do, chances are you're not ready for it. -- A possible answer to the question What is Sex? -- To me, sex means minimal complication. I stress the importance of staying safe, staying respectful, staying courteous, and staying discreet. I'm open-minded. You may be, too. Unfortunately, that doesn't make the world at large any less hostile. To me, sex is the pinnacle of a simple concept: I like you, you like me, so let's make each other happy right now. In context of that, I don’t have to care whether you're a boy or a girl. I don’t have to care about your mother-in-law's scheming, or your boyfriend's alcoholism, or your frigid wife, or your psychopathic boss, or the couple of noughts you left off your last tax return. I want the pleasure from you that you want from me. I want to cum in your hand, your mouth, your pussy, your ass. I want to kiss you deeply. I want to lick you out. I want to caress you and tease you, and take control of your orgasm and make you cum uncontrollably. -- Some friendly cautions -- I'm picky about who I interact with. To save yourself grief, don't argue with me if I turn you down. If you ghost me, then greet me out of the blue three weeks or three months later, don't take offence if I ignore you. Do not say "Why do you call yourself Bi if you won't fuck me?" Do not say "You're really gay - you just don't know it yet". Do not say "A dose of real pussy will sort out that nasty gay urge". And for your sake, don't tell me how you think pansexuality is indecision wearing a sappy grin. -- How do I categorize myself? -- I don't. The only things I categorize are my own reactions. You say Bent. I say Brave. You say Queer. I say Quality. Holes are for pigeons, not people. I could say: "I'm a straight guy on some days, and I love women. But seeing that creamy skin, those taut thighs, those pouting crimson lips, that heavy eyeshadow, those long tresses, those soft, dreamy fuck-me eyes, and that moist, straining cock, I want nothing more than to pump cum into her soft mouth, then give it ten minutes so I can pump more cum into her sweet ass, and for days at a time I can think of nothing but sex, and I don't care that she has a cock and not a pussy, 'cos she has that lovely ass and she's not shy about using it to prove she's a girl where it really matters, and given half a chance and in any given heartbeat, I'd take her for a dirty weekend, over the course of which I'd ravish her senseless at least every hour and insist, every few hours or so, on swallowing her beautiful cock and sucking relentlessly until I hear her soft moan and feel her white cream soaking the back of my throat, and the dirty weekend would likely turn into a dirty week, and at the end of it, I'd want to make her my full-time sex slave". That wouldn't fit on a sexologist's paperwork. So it's easier just to tick the box. But which one... oh, which one would I tick?

O mnie

-- Who am I? --
I am a Pervert.

And if your pulse quickens when you look at the picture below - whether in curiosity, or excitement, or fear, or lust - you're my type.


I dream of being able to cum inside every single man and woman in the world. Preferably all at once.
I’ve never met a woman I didn’t measure up for sex while greeting her.
And from the time I was 23, I haven't met an attractive boy I haven't measured up for sex, either.

-- What do I want? --
I want wild, lustful, in-person fetish sex. With real men, and real women.
With that in mind, I want to get to know as many male and female perverts as possible.
I want to get as intimate as I can with people who get horny at the thought of twisted sex. At the thought of skintight, slippery black. At smelly high-heeled boots. At the persistent caress of latex and soft leather on skin. I want to be in a darkened room with two dozen people who've been so horny for so long that they'll stop at nothing to satisfy themselves with a man in latex and leather. Who will lick and suck and fuck even if they're trembling with fear.

For physical sex play, I want the hardest of the hardcore. I want the top 1% of the top 1%.
But I also love newbies, and I'm a patient mentor. The important thing is that, like me, you're filled with lust and utterly shameless.

If I like you, I'll flirt with you... to whatever and wherever that flirt takes us.
Fair warning, though: I won't claim or pretend you're the only one. I don't do exclusivity.
I don't do jealousy, either. No matter what claim you may think you've staked by finding me, you don't own me. The only way you can have me at all is not to try.
I'm not a man for one sex maniac. I'm a man for all sex maniacs. ;)

-- What do I do? --
* I love to fuck sex toys that aren't mine. Preferably with their owners watching.
And then, I love to fuck their owners.

* I keep a big box of condoms in my home office drawer. During business conference calls, I wear one so I can stroke myself to orgasm anytime I want. Usually with the video feed of the prettiest woman on the call on full-screen.

* Occasionally, I steal shoes from attractive female and male acquaintances, breathing deeply from one while I cum inside the other.

* Some nights in boarding school, a few of us would sneak into a classroom with a VCR player and watch anal porn while stroking ourselves in a group.
I still dream of those days. And I wish I'd reached out and stroked some of my teenage cum buddies to orgasm.

* Once, on a crowded bus, I managed to cum all over the back of the skirt of a woman I didn’t like, undetected. And I would have given anything to see her face when she took her skirt off, and realized it was sticky.

* I love the taste of my own cum, and the creamy texture as it slides down my throat.

* The scent of well-used shoes and boots turns me on so much that I can't think straight.

* One of my ex-girlfriends would coo "Fuck me, daddy... I'm your daughter, fuck me so nice" whenever we had sex.
I get hard when I imagine her father teaching her the tricks she used on me.

* When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a Succubus.


* I get horny when I think about fucking the Facehugger's eggs in Alien.

* I daydream of introducing attractive boys, fresh out of high school, to long, sensual sessions of anal sex. And then teaching their 20-year-old sisters really nasty sex tricks. Preferably at the same time, in the same bed.

* I want a twisted woman to give me her husband to use as my anal sex toy while she watches.

* I want to make love to a sexy woman after she’s pumped her pussy so hard that her pussy lips are swollen outside her like a giant fleshlight.

* I’ve been plotting to catch one of the neighbourhood’s teenage burglars breaking in while I’m head-to-toe in slippery black latex.
I'd stun-gun him, hogtie him, ball-gag him and plastic-bag him.
Then I'd bond him to me sexually by making him my sex slave for a few weeks. Ravishing him anally seventy or eighty times while restricting his air, using my cock to massage him to a prostate orgasm every time.
And by the time he wakes up free of his sealed room, face-down and alone in the middle of nowhere, he'll have erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life. Knowing that no sex available to him from that day on could possibly compare to what he's just been through.

* I want to tease a boy’s hard cock with my lips and tongue while I insert an inflatable butt plug into his ass, inflate it to seal it, then slowly fill him up with two or three litres of glycerine, swelling that sexy boy's stomach up to make him a pregnant woman.

* I daydream of growing a second cock from my crotch, and a third one from the back of my throat, so I could fill a woman’s pussy, ass and mouth with cum all at once.

-- I want to expose myself to you. --
I'm hungry for men and women to join me in one-on-one or one-on-many webcam fetish sex sessions.


I DO NOT CHARGE MONEY for webcam sessions.
If you want one, my only requirement is that I like you. :)

I love exploring just how far you're willing to go with me in anonymous, remote sex. You can see me, I can see you, but neither of us actually know each other.
Think about just how empowering that is.

I get a kick out of the idea that the bland, mousy stranger I'm standing behind in the bank queue might just be the yummy rubber-clad hunk who virtually erupted all over me last night... or the sweet lingerie babe who tickled herself to a gushing orgasm because I told her to.
If you'd like a one-on-one or one-on-many fetish session with me, send me a PM, or E-mail me at rubberflexing[at]gmail[dot]com.

-- Hold on, though... there's a catch. --
Before contacting me or leaving a comment on my profile, take note:

* If you don't have a profile pic; if you have no videos or galleries or writings of your own; if the extent of your conversation is to type 'hi'; if extreme, bizarre fetish sex isn't a specific turn-on for you; if you're newly bi- or gay-curious; or if all you want is a quick piece on the side; then we are not suited.
Subscribe to my page, by all means. Send me a friend request. But save yourself grief, and don't contact me.

* I don't respond sexually to visibly masculine men unless they're wearing rubber.
But if you're a man wearing rubber from head to toe, I'll struggle to stop myself seducing you on the spot.

* I rarely do D/s or BDSM. But when I do, I'm Dominant.
I dislike tin-pot dictators. Do not try dominating me or addressing me in the tone of a wannabe Napoleon Bonaparte... unless you're a humiliation junkie.

* Don't bother asking if I'll be your full-time Master or Dominant. You heard it here first: the answer is No.
Don't think you'll change my mind by hammering, either. The only thing I dislike more than a tin-pot dictator is a pushy sub.
If you want to kneel at my booted feet, you will ask. Politely, and with no small amount of trepidation.
And if you get my permission, you have one chance to do it properly.

-- The videos on the right aren't the only ones. --
I find xHamster's verkrampt performer registration requirements and creativity-killing community standards a pain in the ass. And I know I'm not the only one.
As a result, content featuring other performers and/or that can be considered 'extreme' is hosted on my Motherless account.

-- These are a few of my favourite things --

- Sexy crossdressers and transvestites.
- Sexy TSs and TGs.
- Really obvious drag queens and faggots. That kind of slutty, trashy, 'fuck me now' look turns me on so much that I quiver with lust.
- Ultra-feminine fembois and traps in lingerie and heavy make-up.
- Sexy twinks.
- Men and women who wear rubber and latex.
- Men and women who wear high-heeled boots.
- Anonymous man-on-man sex with full latex coverage, gas masks, and breathing bags.
- Giving anal sex.
- Breath control and oxygen restriction.
- Your amateur porn. The more lewd and bizarre, the better.
- Producing my own porn. Nothing gets me hotter than the thought that around the world, cute twinks, twisted ladies, crossdressers, Kigurumi, latex sluts, fembois, shemales, boot fetishists and rubbermen are cumming while watching my videos.
- Wearing rubber and latex myself – both heavy and sensual.
- Wearing soft leather boots. Especially high-heeled, thigh-high boots.


- Having my toes licked and sucked while I'm wearing womens' boots.


- Rubber gloves and leather gloves.
- PVC, vinyl, and leather bodywear - especially soft, supple leather.

-- Thoughts on cum tributes --

I love them. Giving and receiving.
If you'd like a cum tribute from me, be prepared to give one of your own.
No output without input. After all, sharing is caring, yes? ;)

-- Thoughts on feminine boys --
I live in the country that birthed one of the most horrible pseudo-religious monsters the world has ever seen: the Nederduitsche Gereformeerde Kerk. As a result, I've heard too many people declare that boys who try to be girls are worthless, or less than human, or deserve to be exterminated.
I've also seen for myself that people who make those declarations have no self-knowledge or insight – or they're simply terrified by their secret realization that delicate, vulnerable or feminine boys turn them on. I can only imagine how many Dominees have faced a feminine-looking boy, desired him, suppressed that desire – and then blamed the boy for being an 'incitement to sin'.
To me, on the other hand, a boy who's really a girl at heart is on about the same level as a goddess out of ancient Greek mythos.
Actually, she's better, because she's not a figment of collective imagination. Rather, she's a flesh-and-blood creature to be loved and cherished in the here-and-now. She holds promise that transcends the polar opposites of Male and Female. She unites the entire spectrum of Masculine and Feminine in one body.
Regarding religious thou-shalt-nots on the subject of gender-bending: let me point out that crossdressing and transvestitism are religious traditions that predate Christianity.
Also, people who claim to be speaking or acting in the name of God are not generally renowned for their emotional or mental stability.
As for the rest of the world's opinion: there are very good reasons why ladyboy porn is so well-established.
The closest a girl can ever come to that ideal is to wear a strap-on. That will always miss the mark - because it's obviously fake.
But a boy can have the seductive face, soft lips, long hair and beautiful breasts of a girl, and keep the narrow hips and luscious cock.
Somehow, a girl who tries to be a boy always ends up less than the sum of her parts.
But a boy who tries to be a girl stands an excellent chance of becoming more.
I love boys who can become beautiful girls. It's as easy as that.
To turn me on, a boy has to be a beautiful girl with a cock.
Nothing more, nothing less.

-- Thoughts on inter-gender relations --

I identify as Pansexual. A long time ago, I took the trouble to learn exactly what the word means. And I align with all its tenets.
But tread carefully. Identifying as Pansexual puts me under no obligation to do political correctness or identity politics. And I call out bullshit with no fear or favour; no regard to race, colour or creed.
As a proud pervert, I know that correctness is subjective at best.
As a South African, I know that politics is a euphemism for violence.
And as a man born in the 1970s who keeps a sharp eye out in the 2020s, I see history repeating itself: identity politics is violence wearing baby-doll-pink lipstick, green eyeshadow, dungarees and steel-toed work boots. Carrying an organic, vegan-leather Louis Vuitton handbag in one hand and a pick handle in the other.
I am unashamedly a man, and my gender pronouns are He, Him and His.
I'm cool with non-binary definitions - as long as their proponents don't use them as soapboxes or megaphones or weapons.

-- Thoughts on my pansexuality --
Am I truly pansexual?
If what you're really asking is "Will I fuck anything on two legs?" then No.
What it means is, I love accepting pleasure from and giving pleasure to women, men, and every shade of gender in between. And that if you try imposing a purity test on me, you'll find yourself in an emergency room with a doctor wondering how he's going to get it out of your colon.
Your exclusive homosexuality or heterosexuality - if that's what you have - is a role, not a merit badge. It doesn't make you enlightened or elevated or otherwise superior.

-- Thoughts on vanilla sex --
I have no interest in reproductive sex. That is about plumbing and production quotas.
I have no time for conventional, one-dimensional or straitjacketed definitions and modes of sexual behaviour, either. Sex and dogma are separate entities and should be kept as such, saith the Lord.
I am about What's-Your-Pleasure. I am about sex with no boundaries that feels so good that we might both faint. With that in mind, all I'm interested in is Who, How, When, and Where.
'Why' bores me. If you have to intellectualize why you're here, doing what you do, chances are you're not ready for it.

-- A possible answer to the question What is Sex? --

To me, sex means minimal complication. I stress the importance of staying safe, staying respectful, staying courteous, and staying discreet.
I'm open-minded. You may be, too. Unfortunately, that doesn't make the world at large any less hostile.
To me, sex is the pinnacle of a simple concept: I like you, you like me, so let's make each other happy right now.
In context of that, I don’t have to care whether you're a boy or a girl. I don’t have to care about your mother-in-law's scheming, or your boyfriend's alcoholism, or your frigid wife, or your psychopathic boss, or the couple of noughts you left off your last tax return.
I want the pleasure from you that you want from me. I want to cum in your hand, your mouth, your pussy, your ass.
I want to kiss you deeply. I want to lick you out. I want to caress you and tease you, and take control of your orgasm and make you cum uncontrollably.

-- Some friendly cautions --
I'm picky about who I interact with. To save yourself grief, don't argue with me if I turn you down.
If you ghost me, then greet me out of the blue three weeks or three months later, don't take offence if I ignore you.
Do not say "Why do you call yourself Bi if you won't fuck me?"
Do not say "You're really gay - you just don't know it yet".
Do not say "A dose of real pussy will sort out that nasty gay urge".
And for your sake, don't tell me how you think pansexuality is indecision wearing a sappy grin.

-- How do I categorize myself? --
I don't. The only things I categorize are my own reactions.
You say Bent. I say Brave.
You say Queer. I say Quality.
Holes are for pigeons, not people.
I could say: "I'm a straight guy on some days, and I love women.
But seeing that creamy skin, those taut thighs, those pouting crimson lips, that heavy eyeshadow, those long tresses, those soft, dreamy fuck-me eyes, and that moist, straining cock, I want nothing more than to pump cum into her soft mouth, then give it ten minutes so I can pump more cum into her sweet ass, and for days at a time I can think of nothing but sex, and I don't care that she has a cock and not a pussy, 'cos she has that lovely ass and she's not shy about using it to prove she's a girl where it really matters, and given half a chance and in any given heartbeat, I'd take her for a dirty weekend, over the course of which I'd ravish her senseless at least every hour and insist, every few hours or so, on swallowing her beautiful cock and sucking relentlessly until I hear her soft moan and feel her white cream soaking the back of my throat, and the dirty weekend would likely turn into a dirty week, and at the end of it, I'd want to make her my full-time sex slave".

That wouldn't fit on a sexologist's paperwork. So it's easier just to tick the box.
But which one... oh, which one would I tick?
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